RYOZILLA VS TALPA
BY KIA PURITY

(Modified 2004)

*Kia sits at computer, typing along as she watches a Godzilla movie*
*Sage enters*
Sage: Kia?
Kia: What?
Sage: Another play?
Kia: It's gonna be hard trying to find Godzilla for his role.
Sage: What role?
Kia: For Godzilla Vs Talpa.
Sage: Not again, I could have sworn that you're from the Dynasty.
Kia: Fortunately for Ronin Warriors, I am not!
Sage: Halleujah.
Okami: Don't start.
Kento: HALLEUJAH! HALLEUJAH! HALLEUJAH...
*SMACK*
Okami: There. That brown sock ought to stay there.
*GULP*
Kia & Sage: Didn't work.
Kento: Yummy.
*Wanders around for more brown socks*
Sage: Yuck, how can he eat those?
Okami: They taste like chocolate to him! He's a chocolate crazed hog!
Kia: Typical.....
Tora: Well, yeah. What's the play about?
Okami: Godzilla vs Talpa.
Hebi: Makes no sense! We can't find Godzilla!
Omu: Er.... I think I know who can be Godzilla.
Cye: Uh?
Omu: We need to find Godzilla's replacement, any suggestions?
Cye thinks: I dunno.
Rowen: How about Kia?
Kia throws a book at Rowen: Not funny.
*All look at one door*
Kento: Hi Ryo.
*Ryo looks confused*
Ryo: What's going on?
Kia walks up to Ryo: Congrats. Hebi, tell him what he has won!
Hebi poses by the computer: The role of Godzilla!
Ryo: Oh boy....
Jess Fear: Against Talpa!
Ryo groans as Hebi giggles: So we'll have to make a change in name.
Kia: Ryozilla!
All screams: Aaah! Ryozilla! The temper of Mt. Fuji! Run!
*Everyone runs from Ryo except for Hebi.*
Ryo: THIS IS NOT FUNNY!

THE AUTHORESS HAVE LEFT THIS SCENE FOR OBVIOUS REASONS. THE PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE OBVIOUS REASONS HAVE BEEN SACKED.

Kia: Somehow, we're stuck in Monty Python and the holy Grail again.
Ryo: Why am I Ryozilla!?
Kia: Just because I'm bored.

THE AUTHORESS HAS SET UP THIS SCENE. THE PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR WRECKING THIS SCENE WILL BE SACKED.

Greg: Including me?

INCLUDING GREG.

Kia: Well, I guess the narrator is loud today.... Wait.... how come you're here?

THE REGULAR NARRATOR IS OUT SICK. THE PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE REGULAR NARRATOR'S ILLNESS HAS BEEN SACKED.

Ryo: Great, Kia! We're going to have everyone sacked today!
Kia: Not necessary. The new narrator will only sack people who are on their bad behavior. Like Greg.
Greg: OH! OH! *runs away from the new narrator*

THE ACTOR NEEDS TO BE FITTED FOR HIS COSTUME, PLEASE REPORT TO THE COSTUME DEPARTMENT OR THE PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ACTOR'S TARDINESS WILL BE SACKED.

Ryo: Uh. May I have the permission to call the narrator nuts?

NO. THE PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR INSULTING THE NARRATOR WILL BE SACKED.

Ryo: Okay. I'll get going to the costume department. *leaves*
Kia: Alright! Get the camera rolling!

THE PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CAMERAS NOT ROLLING WILL BE SACKED.

Everyone: ..... *runs off to do whatever they are supposed to*
Kia: Ready?
Ryo: Ready!
Kia: Set?
Hebi: Set!
Kia: GO!

THE PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE NARRATOR BEING SACKED WILL BE SACKED AS SOON AS THE NARRATOR CUTS HIS WAY OUT OF THE SACK.

Greg: Heh-heh! *Throws sack into a river* Bye bye narrator!
Kia: Get ready, everyone!

KIA ACTING AS THE NEW NARRATOR HERE.... GET READY YOU FOOLS OR I'LL KICK YOUR BUTTS UNLESS YOU ALL AREN'T READY!

Everyone: ...... *gets ready*

KIA ACTING AS THE NEW NARRATOR HERE.... ACTION!

*A dinosaur with a human head sticking out of the body walks through the city of Tokyo*
Ryozilla: This is no fun.
Hebi: Oh! Woe is me! I cannot find my boyfriend Ryo and yet, I am stuck with this Ryozilla! He is the terror of Japan! Crushing everything with his big smelly feet!
Ryozilla: Kia you goof! You screwed up the script!
Kia: Well, I wrote it. What can you expect from me?
Ryozilla groans: I forgot your habit of goofing everything up.

THE NARRATOR HAS RETURNED FROM BEING SACKED AND THROWN INTO A RIVER. THE PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE NARRATOR BEING SACKED WILL BE SACKED SOON AS THE PERSONS ARE FOUND.

Ryozilla stares at Kia: Help!
Kia: ..... Narrator, go sit down.

FINE. BUT THE PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR STEALING THE NARRATOR'S CHAIR WILL BE SACKED. *sits down*

Everyone: ..........
Kia: Back to the play and Narrator, shut or you will be sacked!

THE NARRATOR WILL BE SACKED IF THIS PERSON DOES NOT SHUT UP.... *sacked*

Kia: Greg.
Greg: HERE!
Kia: Dispose of this narrator.
Greg: Certainly! *throws sack into river*
Kia: Sayonara Narrator.

KIA ACTING AS THE NEW NARRATOR..... PLEASE CONTINUE. WE WILL HAVE NO MORE INTERRUPTIONS.

Ryozilla: Somehow I doubt that.
Hebi: Let's get on with this.

OKAMI REPLACING KIA ACTING AS THE NEW NARRATOR.... KIA HAS GONE TO MAKE SURE THE MONTY PYTHON NARRATOR IS NOT BACK.

Ryozilla: Now I'm scared.
Hebi: Okami, why are you there?

OKAMI REPLACING KIA ACTING AS THE NEW NARRATOR.... NO IDEA. KIA ASKED ME TO TAKE OVER FOR A MINUTE.... *sacked*

THE PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR REPLACING THE NARRATOR WITH THE NEW NARRATORS HAS BEEN SACKED. ALSO THE NEW NARRATORS.

Ryozilla: HELP!
Hebi: You're Ryozilla. Do something!
Ryozilla: Oh yeah... *BLOWS WIND AT FLIRT!*
Sage: I am not a flirt. Damnit, Ryo!
Hebi: You idiot. *hits Ryozilla* Fire, not flirt!
Sage: That's right... *sacked*
Ryozilla: FLARE UP NOW! *BLOWS FIRE AT NARRATOR*
*Narrator gets fried*
Kia: Whew, the sack was sure stuffy. I think I was grabbing stuff.
Sage: ...I was molested. ><
Okami: Kia... you pervert.
Everyone: .....
Sage: I need a shower.
Okami: *smacks Kia*
Kia: ;_;
Okami: That's it. I quit.

THE PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR OKAMI QUITTING HAS BEEN SACKED.

Kia: You can't sack me because I'm supposed to work on this thing!

HUH... THE PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE NARRATOR'S ABSENT MINDNESS HAS BEEN SACKED....

Kia: I would love to have the narrator sacked while I'm finishing this and starting on "The Full Ronin"!
Hebi: The full ronin?
Okami: Ever hear of The Full Monty?
Omu: Uh oh.
Tora: And I should have seen that coming. Actually, I did.
Kia: HEHEHE! This is gonna be fun. Making the Ronins strip.
Sage: Dear god. NO.
Kia: :)
Everyone: .... *Sweat drops*
Ryozilla: That's it! I'm flaming this pathetic town!
*Tokyo set blows up*
Hebi: Oh well. I have no place to live in now since Godzilla blew.... WAIT!
*Talpa appears*
Talpa: Who dares to mess with this powerful Dynasty Lord?!
Ryozilla: I dare!
Talpa: You, a cheap version of Godzilla?! HAHAHAHAHA!
Ryozilla: NO, THE MORE POWERFUL VERSION OF GODZILLA WITH BETTER FIRE POWER!
Talpa: Really!?
Ryozilla: REALLY! *blows fire at Talpa*
*Talpa is jumping around and screaming*
Talpa: OW OW OW OW OW OOOOOOOOOW!
*Dives into a swimming pool*
Dark Warlords: TEN!
Okami: That's it. This story is officially finished.
Kia: Then the full ronin starts! HEE HEE HEE!

She's right. "The Full Ronin" is next! Watch out, this is more worse than #39. Triumphant Warriors/Shine! Five warriors team! or #4 (of Kikotei Densetsu) Go Beyond The Sorrow.......